Loving on the job
Helaine Olen gives you permission to hook up with your office crush
PROFILE. Worried you shouldn’t be shacking up with your co-worker? Don’t be. According to Helaine Olen, co-author of “Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding and Managing Romance on the Job” (Adams Media, $14.95), the workplace is the best place to find love.
And she’s got proof, having met her husband of 16 years on the job. Though they shared a title, he had an office while she had space in the hallway. Galled by his midday naps, Olen decided to con-front him. But, before she could make her speech, he made her laugh. They now have two sons.
Olen, 42, was a successful freelance journalist before stumbling upon the idea for “Office Mate,” her first book.
“It started out as a joke,” Olen says, borne out of casual conversations with her long-time friend and co-author Stephanie Losee who also met her husband at work. “We looked it up online and were shocked to find 50 percent of the population was dating at work. We were like, ‘Why isn’t anyone talking about this?’”
The book asserts that while the Internet is “the romantic equivalent of the law-less Western frontier” the office is the new town square, a community in which human resources and “nosy neighbor” co-workers play important roles in vetting potential suitors.
“Workplace romance gives you the luxury of time in a low pressure situation,” Olen says. “It lends itself to old-fashioned courting because you are naturally hard-to-get. You don’t have sex right away. And people are likely to be careful with each other because of the consequences.”
Yeah, about those. Isn’t it taboo to dip into the office pool?
“Dating on the job has gotten a bad rap, but many concerns have fallen by the wayside in recent years,” she says. “Women feel more equal in the work-place and less threatened by this concept.” Olen cites growing acceptance, notably at Southwest Airlines, and a 2006 survey indicating fewer than 5 percent of HR professionals feel office romance should be prohibited.
In addition to changing social mores, Olen’s research indicated people involved with colleagues are more productive. “Nothing motivates you like trying to impress a work crush.”
So, did Olen ever have an office romance before her husband? “Yes, but it ended very well.” For many singles, that should be reason enough to head to the bookstore.