Material Mom gets real

GOSSIP. Someone must have a new album to promote. Madonna has been opening her mouth a lotlately, this time talking about the challenges of being a multimillionaire entertainer/working mom. Apparently her kids (Lourdes, 11, Rocco, 7, and adopted David Banda, 2) have been pining for a “normal mom.” “I just remind them about all the things that they have,” Madge told BBC Radio. “Usually that shuts them up.” Take note, moms of the world. All you have to do is figure out what will shut those annoying brats up, and you’ll be all set.

She also took a moment to psychoanalyze failed Madonna emulator Britney Spears. So, Prof. Madge, why has Brit-Brit had so many troubles lately? “She’s been watched, judged and been under a microscope since she’s been a teenager. It’s hard to evolve that way.” True dat. And it has nothing at all to do with the trauma caused by making out with you at the VMAs a few years ago.

Candle in the wings
A very loose-lipped source says that Elton John will be a surprise guest at Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday celebration in June. “[Elton] wanted to be a total surprise,” the spoilsport told 
ShowbizSpy.com. “Nelson has no idea Elton is going to be there.” Well, he didn’t until now. Everyone knows Mandela is a rabid ShowbizSpy.com reader.

One guest who is confirmed to be there is Dame Shirley Bassey, who will serenade the Nobel laureate with what will undoubtedly be the most awesome rendition of “Happy Birthday” in history. Maybe she’ll even slip in a quick “Gold-fingaaaaah!”