A ‘fearless’ Sheen didn’t help enough

GOSSIP. Because we aren’t old heads yet, we usually don’t read AARP magazine. (Oh, who are we kidding — we pick it up for the pictures. There is nothing hotter than photos of old men gardening. Nothing).

Anyway, in this month’s issue, we were interested in what cover man Martin Sheen had to say about his son, Charlie, and the kid’s past drug use. The elder Sheen describes himself as “fearless” when it came to making Charlie curb his bad habits. “When a life is at stake and it’s your child, you become fearless in a lot of ways. I mean, you just become fanatic,” he says. “Nothing ever gets done unless it’s done by a fanatic.”

We kind of wish we knew where Martin and all of that fearlessness was when Charlie decided to take the plunge and wed Denise Richards in 2002. Sure, she’s hot. But judging by her new reality TV show, “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated,” one begins to think marrying her was a worse idea than becoming a prostitute-loving cokehead. Just saying.

Get on the ‘boat’?
R&B singer Ray J, the guy who made a name for himself (other than as “Brandy’s little brother”) when he made Kim Kardashian famous when they made a sex tape together (whew!) was tossed out of the Hyatt Regency in Washington, D.C., on Saturday night. The reason? He had a stash of marijuana and a drug called “boat,” reports TMZ.

What? Boat? What is that? Man, this reminds us of the time when our grandmother used to call it “the pot.” As in, “are you smoking the pot?” Jeez, we’re old. Excuse us; we’re just going to go back to reading our AARP magazine now.