Does ‘Sex’ really sell?

In the case of the product spin-offs from the movie, we wish it wouldn’t

ROUNDUP. The euphoric weeks of anticipation we experienced after New Line Cinema announced that “Sex and the City: The Movie” would, in fact, hit theaters turned into days of publicity hell as one commercial brand after another tried to sell us on product tie-ins to the film. Practically everyone wants to get in on the action, from the predictable (mixologists, designer clothing brands) to the bizarre (shoe therapy, anyone?) We parcel out the sexy and lame turnoffs. 

SEXY

Jami Rodriguez Cougar Necklace, $97, www.maxandchloe.com
This agate and 14K-filled necklace is part urban cool and part ’70s porn star camp. We don’t blame Samantha for wearing it in the movie.

The Muse “Sex and the City” Hotel Suite Package, $475, www.themusehotel.com
The NYC hotel will arrange a personal driver, a massage, a set of complimentary hair-care products and other personal-ized gifts. Unabashedly trying to get on the “SATC” bandwagon? Yes. Do we mind? Not so much.

“Sex and the City” cocktails, various locations
Usually we’re suspect of any sort of libation that pairs pop culture with our pops. But that suspicious feeling usually goes away after the first glass. However, the “Crystal Skulltini” we had last week was not nearly as good as the “Temple of Doom” Mudslide we had years ago. Weird how that parallels the quality of the respective movies. Any-way, we are excited about the Flirtini at Red Sky Restaurant and Lounge (Faneuil Hall, Boston). For $8 they pair these bubbly libations with decadent chocolate cake. Check out our Going Out page tomorrow for more Sips in the City.
 

Cosabella “SATC” lingerie, $36 to $92, www.store.hbo.com
The Italian brand basically created four cute lingerie looks and slapped the name of a “SATC” character on each one. Because the bra and panty sets are so pretty, we’ll try to overlook the fact that Cosabella is banking on the average woman being so impressionable that she’ll shop for undies based on the taste of a fictional character.
 

UNSEXY

“New” “SATC” Big Apple Films walking tour, $18, 212-714-8336
We did the tour … five years ago.
 

“SATC” “Single and Fabulous” doggie tee, $15, www.store.hbo.com
It’s pink, with ruffles and rhinestones. And it’s for dogs. Need we say more? Charlotte’s Elizabeth Taylor wouldn’t be caught dead in it.

Miss Meghan, www.missmeghan.com
The self-proclaimed shoe expert and therapist is pimping out her ability to “dissect, analyze, consult, console and psychically prepare” “SATC” lovers for the movie’s arrival in theaters. Because heels hurt sometimes.
 

Any accessory declaring your shoe obsession, tote, $25, www.store.hbo.com
If you’re a real designer-shoe enthusiast, it’s your feet — not that canvas tote bag, key chain, coffee mug or wall poster — that will let us know.