Poster boy for divorcing husbands everywhere

GOSSIP. Is Anne Heche’s ex-husband Coleman Laffoon a total genius or a total slacker? Instead of having to pay alimony — as divorcing men have had to do for decades now — the ex-cameraman is taking Heche for $275,000, as well as monthly child-support payments of $3,700  for the care of the couple’s 6-year-old son, Homer, according to court documents.  If that’s not enough, Heche will also have to pay 75 percent of her son’s private school tuition.

Ladies, we’re sad to report that when your mother tells you not to marry a dreamy artist because he’ll never make any money, you might want to pay attention. Not only might he adhere to the giant cliche of “he will never be able to support you,” but if you do eventually divorce, there is now a very real chance he will take you for all you’re worth.

But welcome to the world of equality, right?

Right?

Sigh.

On behalf of feminists everywhere, thanks a lot, Coleman Laffoon, for totally screwing us up in the head.

Get Barf
When it comes to our dreams of hot man-on-man action, we can safely say that Steve Carell and The Rock having a manly naked romp never crossed our minds. But thanks to the stars’ interview with AP Television about their new film, “Get Smart,” in which the two lock lips, it’s now all we can think about. So let us ruin your morning as well, shall we? As Carrell reports, “The Rock has softer lips. I guess I could say that. He smells like strawberry shortcake. For me, that’s why they call him The Rock. He rocks people’s worlds.” To which The Rock countered, “We came up with a great kiss. I thought, if Jake Gyllenhaal can do it, Will Smith can do it, then I can do it, too. I’m going to own it. I was like, ‘Give me those lips right now.’”

Sorry to have to share this with you on a Monday morning, but we wanted company in our shame.

Seen on the scene
Natalie Portman having brunch yes-terday with Harvard classmates of 2003 at Charles Hotel’s Henrietta’s Table during the university’s reunion weekend.