Good Girl Talk, bad ‘Fashion’

I was hoping to spend this week’s column raving about how awesome the new Girl Talk album is, but I can’t help ranting about Heidi Montag’s new single. These two releases from the past week represent the very best and very worst music so far this year, maybe in the past decade.

Here’s the thing: The new Girl Talk is so good that it could take months to soak in the masterpiece that is “Feed The Animals”: 15 tracks of manic mash-up genius, sampling just under 300 songs in just under an hour. Your assignment: visit www.illegalart.net immediately, and pay what you can for the best mash-ups since, well, since Girl Talk released his 2006 album, “Night Ripper.” The only weird part about Girl Talk pulling a Radiohead —letting the consumers decide how much money the artist deserves — is that Girl Talk uses other artist’s material, but he uses it so well that it is completely his own. I suggest paying top dollar, in the off chance that any one of these 270 artists doesn’t love how he has turned a snippet of their work into an irrefusable dance floor invitation and decides to sue him.

Yesterday we mentioned “Fashion,” the brand new “song” that “reality” “star” Heidi Montag recorded. We don’t want to give her too much ink, but this is bad on so many levels, which is surprising that someone who is famous for being so shallow can provide any entertainment on more than one level. A sampling of the lyrics: “I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts/I live to be model thin/Dress me, I’m your mannequin.” You could write a doctoral thesis on the first verse alone. She co-opts “fierce,” from a reality star with actual talent, and the “model thin” line was, no doubt, an attempt at irony, but her plastic surgery bill suggests it’s truth. Girl Talk, take me away!