Harry Potter stoned?

GOSSIP. That Daniel Radcliffe, always trying to show how grown up he is. First he went and stripped naked for a play in London to show he could do more than just play a boy wizard. But apparently that wasn’t enough, so now he’s trying to make the whole “Harry Potter” franchise seem more mature.

“There’s a fair amount of sexual energy and drug parallels,” the film historian said of the sixth installment.  “We have a couple of ‘Trainspotting’ moments.”

Simple late-adolescence posturing? Trying to broaden the franchise’s fan base? It’s tough to say. Then again, maybe Radcliffe knows something we don’t. After all, the movie doesn’t hit theaters until November, and we haven’t seen the final script. And while we don’t remember anything like this from the book, it’s possible that during the adaptation process they added a scene where Ron, totally blitzed from mainlining unicorn tears (heroin to us muggles), loses control and makes an unholy mess of Hermoine’s mum’s guest bedroom. We just hope they cut out Harry’s extended withdrawal sequence. That baby crawling on the ceiling is creepy.

Holy ultimatum, Batman!
Sidekicks get a bum rap, what with all the homoerotic innuendo. And now Christian Bale has come out against the ultimate super-intern. While he’s totally up for more Batman movies after “The Dark Knight,” Bale is adamant about one thing: “If Robin crops up in one of the new Batman films, I’ll be chaining myself up somewhere and refusing to go to work.”

We suppose with this new Batman series’ dark, adult take on the franchise, there’s no room for green short-shorts.

Still, we’d just like to remind everyone that there is nothing weird about a reclusive millionaire taking in a wayward teen for mysterious reasons. Nothing. You people have such dirty minds.