Rock ’n’ roll fantasy is a real nightmare
‘Rocker’ Rainn Wilson turns out to be a total poseur
‘The Rocker’
Genre: Comedy
Director: Peter Cattaneo
Stars: Rainn Wilson, Teddy Geiger, Josh Gad, Emma Stone
Rating: PG-13
Globes: 2 Globes
In the opening scene of “The Rocker,” the camera lovingly lingers on the spandexed crotch of hair metal god Lex, lead singer of future Rock and Roll Hall of Famers Vesuvius.
The goofball comedians who make up the fictional band circa the 1980s — Will Arnett as Lex, backed by Fred Armisen, Bradley Cooper and Rainn Wilson — pull off spot-on Poison posturing. Unfortunately, all of that eyeliner, teased hair and cock-walking across the stage is the most realistic and entertaining thing about this film.
Wilson, as drummer Robert “Fish” Fishman, promptly gets kicked out of Vesuvius, his hopes of becoming a world-famous drummer dashed. Flash forward 20 years to the present, and Fish is working a soul-crushing desk job while his former band mates continue to dominate the music world. In a chain of events so convoluted they must be seen to be believed, Fish comes out of his self-imposed drumming retirement to rock out with his high school nephew’s band at the prom. It doesn’t go well.
But thanks to the power of the Internet, Wilson’s pasty love handles and a couple of well-placed Chinese takeout containers, Fish becomes a YouTube sensation — The Naked Drummer — and the band, A.D.D., gets a record deal and Midwestern tour (though they’ve never never played a real gig).
The film becomes much more “High School Musical” than “Almost Famous” at this point, focusing on the clichéd teens of the band — the brooding front man with daddy issues (Teddy Geiger), the misfit rocker chick (Emma Stone) and the nerdy guy who would really like to hold a girl’s hand one day (Josh Gad, who plays paranoid social ineptitude to perfection).
Along the way, Fish revels in finally achieving fame, which leads to more watered-down rock star posing involving booze and ladies. The whole act makes Fish (and in turn Wilson) look like a jester holding court for the kids. He should have left the rock star — not to mention the leading man — thing to the real pros.