Barack Obama: So hip he’s square?

Last week marked the Democratic National Convention, one of the two dull, overlong quadrennial political meet-ups that are responsible for keeping the confetti industry afloat. The DNC went out in grand style, as Barack Obama gave a speech at Mile High Stadium to an audience of something like a billion screaming fans, some of whom plan on voting this year. But many are only in it for the trend factor, which begs the question, is Obama getting too popular? After all, his biggest strength has always been that he’s totally cool. But it’s scientific fact that the more popular something is, the less cool it gets. Is Obama in danger of becoming too cool to be truly cool?

 Barack Obama used to be the hip candidate. He didn’t wear a tie, he actually looked happy when he smiled, and he was our secret. While my parents went for adult contemporary candidates like Clinton and Edwards, I enjoyed the alternative sound of Obama. He was like the swing dancing revival of 1991, a hidden subculture you had to discover. Now, however, he’s more like the swing dancing revival of 1996, an overexposed monstrosity. Even my parents are voting for Obama. Who wants to support the same candidate as their parents?  
John McCain, by comparison, is starting to look pretty cool because nobody likes him, not even his voters. Plus, he’s got that retro “Mad Men” vibe that’s cool in sort of an old school/Rat Pack/disrespectful towards women kind of way. And like cool celebrities like William Shatner and Burt Reynolds, he’s not totally aware of how ridiculous he is. That layer of irony is pretty cool, and sure to attract members of the “in” crowd looking for famous people to pretend they’re not making fun of.

 There’s a problem at the core of American democracy. Only the candidate with the most supporters — by definition the least cool — can win. Only our current chief executive has kept his coolness intact, by getting fewer votes than his opponent. But I refuse to compromise my coolness principles in this election. Sure, I want my candidate to win, but if I vote for the same guy everybody else does then I’m a loser, even if I win. It’s a serious problem, and I see only one solution: Nader. He’s the punk rock candidate: an unpopular outcast with a history of destructive behavior. There’s nothing cooler than that.

Elliott Kalan is a producer for “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.”