Surfing the title wave

We look at the names of this weekend’s new releases and let you draw your own conclusions

 It seems Nicolas Cage took a cue from Tom Hanks in “The Da Vinci Code” with his awkward, longish hair in his new movie, “Bankok Dangerous.”

But it wouldn’t be fair to judge an actor by his terrible locks, so we’ve chosen instead to judge his movie and this week’s other new releases by their titles.

‘Bangkok Dangerous’
In what must be the year’s least complicated title, Cage takes a much-needed break from playing conspiracy chasers and obscure comic book antiheroes with flaming skull heads to star as a badass assassin with four presumably dangerous hits to carry out in Thailand’s capital city.

Fun fact: The original Thai production from 1999 featured a deaf-mute hero!

‘A Girl Cut in Two’
Though this film’s title intriguingly suggests a tragic magic show accident, it turns out it’s just a metaphor for your standard story of a TV weathergirl who can’t decide between two lovers.

‘The Grocer’s Son’
Apparently you actually can go home again, at least in the world of this surprise French hit about a young Parisian who has no choice but to return to his family’s country home and take up the dull family business of delivering groceries.

Spoiler alert: Our city boy learns a thing or two about life and love from his homespun peasant-folk clients. Another spoiler: The main character’s dad is the grocer!

‘I Served the King of England’
Don’t be fooled by this title: This black comedy takes place in 1930s Czechoslovakia and concerns the offbeat adventures of the diminutive Jan, a social-climbing waiter who works his way up to a gig at Prague’s ritziest hotel, but then has the misfortune to fall in love with Liza, a woman who just can’t get enough of another short, ambitious fellow: Adolf Hitler. Yikes!