For Paul Rudd, the decision to star in Jay Roach’s new comedy, “Dinner for Schmucks,” was an easy one. “I thought the script was really funny,” he says. “That was it. It was kind of a no-brainer.” Of course Rudd, who’s built an impressive resume of smart comedies, was just as enamored of the man behind the camera. Cliff who? The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier has just gotten quite a bit of company: As many as 6,600 graves at the country’s hallowed Arlington National Cemetery for fallen U.S. service members may be mislabeled, one lawmaker said on Thursday.New claims for unemployment benefits slipped last week, but stayed at a stubbornly high level that underscored the labor market recovery was having trouble gaining traction.J.A. Happ said all the right things, just as the crafty lefty always has.Julian Assange, founder of the website that published more than 91,000 secret U.S. military reports from Afghanistan, says he’s revealing injustices. President Barack Obama says he’s concerned that disclosure of sensitive information may harm military operations.1. Will the Jets regret cutting Faneca?For many job-hopping careerists, smuggling a resignation letter in their bag like a guilty secret, there are few workplace rituals so hard as saying so long.Subletting in NYC typically involves some kind of covert transaction. Try to find a budget traveler who hasn’t enjoyed the risk of Craigslist’s lease-free rentals. But thanks to a bill Gov. David Paterson signed into law last Friday, renting an apartment for less than 30 days isn’t kosher. Fortunately, there’s a saving grace for those in search of short-term living: Jersey City.Could nail mats like the Acushakti be the next Snuggies?
Ah, the Super Bowl. That day each year when everyone who hasn’t been paying attention to football for the other 364 days suddenly does pay attention — or at least pretends like they do. As hard as this may be for the rabid fan to understand, for many well-meaning people, the game is just an excuse:
An excuse to hang out with friends, stuff their faces with snacks and watch several hours of television. If this is an accurate description of you, gentle reader, keep in mind that to the true fan, your presence at the event — especially should you reveal your true feelings about the sport — may cause discomfort. Discomfort, that is, for you, after you proudly declaim, “I only watch it for the commercials!” and promptly find yourself wearing your beer.
The simplest way to preserve the peace is to pretend the game actually matters to you. This is easily accomplished, if you stick to two basic talking points.
It’s really a silver lining that the Pats aren’t playing. Just think, if the Pats had made it all the way to the big game, they’d be facing off against the Saints, America’s newest sweethearts. For us, that would have been a no-win situation. But now we have the luxury of enjoying the game and knowing that the strange burning sensation we feel in our chests is probably just because of the jalapeno poppers — not anxiety about Tom Brady’s legs or Randy Moss’s hands.
You really want the Colts to lose. Note: you must broach this subject with some nuance. Most New England fans hate Peyton Manning and enjoy watching him make something called “Manning Face.” Ordinarily, this would be a safe topic of discussion. But there’s a chance that, at your social gathering, you may be talking with someone who considers himself A True Fan of The Game.
These holier-than-thou folk actually respect Manning for — ugh — being perhaps the best quarterback of all time. So instead of focusing on him, I recommend this not-unimportant consideration: Can there be any doubt that Indy, which has won a gajillion Super Bowls, would throw a far worse party than the city that hasn’t even made to the game before? I mean, NOLA’s motto is “Laissez les bons temps rouler.” That’s not even in English.
Armed with this info, you can now approach the pretzel bowl with confidence. And let’s all hope the Saints roule.
— Sarah Green also writes for UmpBump.com.
She can be reached at sarah@umpbump.com.
Metro does not endorse the opinions of the author, or any opinions expressed on its pages. Opposing viewpoints are welcome. Send submissions to letters@metro.us.
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